Sunday, December 6, 2009

Losing my way

Zoe and I took our usual Sunday morning walk today. The Sunday morning routine is to make a pot of coffee, load up my talking book reader and head out for our walk. It was about 6:00 Am: prime time for a morning walk.

 

Unfortunately 6:00 AM is much darker this time of year and my vision continues to get progressively worse. I found myself having trouble negotiating our route and giving my book the attention it deserved. I also wasn’t very present to Zoe. I ended up not enjoying my walk very much at all. As I reflect on my experience this morning I find myself knowing I need to do something different if I am going to continue to enjoy the morning ritual Zoe and I have come to look forward to each day.

 

I realize I am making the experience too complicated and at the same time trying to be too controlling. I created a set of reinforcing loops that lead from bad to worse.

 

Given the amount of vision I have it may not be feasible for me to both navigate the walk by sight and read a book at the same time. I realize now I walked slower to compensate for my inability to keep track of my surroundings. This resulted in Zoe feeling she had time to explore all the interesting things a dog can find along the way. I found myself having to struggle to get Zoe back on track, which got me more off track.

 

The fact is there is nothing bad about just enjoying the sounds of the morning and leaving it at that. I think I have a plan for next weekend.

 

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